Friday, December 14, 2012


Today was a day that will never be forgotten by us. As I sat and watched today on the news, my heart felt like it was going to explode.  I cried and I cried.  I was so very overwhelmed.  The pictures and the scenes were just totally gut wrenching. 
Part of me wanted to get Kaleb out of school.  Go and get my youngest and hold him so tight and tell him how much I loved him. 
Part of me couldn't move. I was literally glued to the TV. Listening and watching.
Part of me was asking WHY!?
Part of me was just angry!
I gathered myself together and left in a hurry to go and get Kaleb on time.  Sitting in the car rider line, I thought it was NEVER going to move.  It finally happened....they called his name over the bullhorn and then it happened again..... 
This precious blessing came running toward the car with a huge smile and saying "Mommy, I got a green dot". To see his face started the river of tears.
I cried so hard and tried so hard for him not to see me.
We went to Bo's work for some Daddy loving.
Afterwards we came home. 
-Toys were in the front room.
-His room is not ready for tomorrows Christmas Party here at our house.
-Bread was not done for the gifts.
-Laundry wasn't completed.
-Ironing wasn't done.
I DIDN"T CARE!!!!!!  It just didn't seem to matter.  It was important. We are having Bo's department Christmas Party here tomorrow night and it just wasn't important.
When I pulled up at Kaleb's school, all I could do was pray for those parents.  The facts that were tearing my heart apart were
Their child's sweet smiling face won't come running to the car
Their child's voice won't be heard
Their child's toys won't be in the floor
Their child's clothes won't need to be washed. 
There are things that happen in this world that we will never understand this side of Glory!  This is one of those times. 
What is my response?
JESUS.  That was the only thing I kept saying today.  Praying through my tears. Shedding tears in His presence and unable to say a word. JESUS!  The pain that these families are facing and the days to come is incomprehensible.  I know that my children are not mine. They are HIS!!!! JESUS!  He has given me the blessing and honor of being their Mom. We, as a family will be praying for those affected by this tragedy from the first responders to the families.  JESUS!!!  He is my Comforter!

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